


Moving On

by Liyyah



Category: Suits (US TV)
Genre: Episode Tag, F/M, Light Angst, post s7ep12
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-05
Updated: 2018-04-05
Packaged: 2019-04-19 00:42:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 810
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14225382
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Liyyah/pseuds/Liyyah
Summary: Donna does some reflection after her phone call with Jessica.





	Moving On

Donna leaned back into the sofa, sipping on her glass of wine. It was a poor attempt at erasing the taste of scotch that lingered in her mouth after her drink with Harvey.

If she was being honest with herself, she’d admit that it was the taste of _him_ she was trying to get rid of.

The whisper dangerously snaked its way into her thoughts and she tipped her head black, gulping the remaining contents down in a rush. Maybe she’d be able to drown that stupid voice in the back of her mind that wouldn’t leave her alone.

Things like that had no place in her brain.

Just like Harvey didn’t have a place in her heart.

But it was too late for that, wasn’t it?

She’d already built him a home in her chest. It was a shame that the rooms were empty.

Reaching out, she grabbed the bottle on the coffee table and poured herself another glass. A part of her knew that she shouldn’t drink too much but she didn’t particularly have the energy to care.

She wanted to forget the sadness that clouded Harvey’s eyes as they listened to his father’s record. She wanted to forget the way her fingers had itched to touch him, to pull him close and hold him until his world was right again.

_She wanted more._

Yet that was the one thing she would never have. Not with _him_ anyway.

Something in her had quietly shattered when she kissed him. Their lips met for the first time after all those years and Donna felt as if she was coming home. For one brief, shining moment, they were the only two people to exist and her heart ceased beating just for him but at the same time she had never been more alive.

But the next morning he’d looked at her with such steel and she couldn’t do it. She knew he would be upset. She wasn’t a fool. However she hadn’t been prepared for the coldness that radiated off him, threatening to knock her over. And she panicked.

_So she lied._

_I didn’t feel anything when I kissed you_ were the words echoing in her ears for days because maybe if she repeated them to herself enough times it would prove to be true.

It wasn’t working though.

All of a sudden her phone call with Jessica flashed through her mind and she tightened her grip on the wine glass. If she was being honest with herself, _that_ was the reason she wanted to drink herself into oblivion.

_It was time to move on._

The second the sentence fell from her mouth, she _knew_. But that was a truth she couldn’t quite face either, could she?

She had once told Rachel that she regretted putting Harvey over herself and she meant it. For more than twelve years she’d put his needs above hers. And while he acknowledged it, something that meant the world to her, it just wasn’t enough.

Working with him wasn’t enough anymore either.

Donna’s feelings had been buried for years but everything burst to the surface with the kiss. It was killing her to pretend that she was okay as they tried to fall back into what they used to be. A dynamic that she didn’t even want anymore.

No, she wanted _everything_ with him.

But that wasn’t possible.

Because right now, Harvey was probably fixing things with Paula. She would obviously forgive him. After all, Donna had done it enough times.

Meanwhile, here she was, _alone_.

The only way she would ever be able to change that was by letting go of Harvey. And she couldn’t do that sitting in an office ten feet away from him.

It was something she’d always known but never allowed herself to think about. Because the idea of not working with Harvey, of not seeing him every day, was _unfathomable_.

But what if putting herself first meant walking away from him for good?

Nothing was ever going to change between them and she couldn’t keep doing their little dance.

Suddenly, a wave of exhaustion overcame her and she placed her glass on the table, not even bothering to put it in the sink, before rising and making her way to the bedroom.

She needed to get some rest before putting on her mask in the morning.

As she placed her phone on the nightstand before climbing into bed, she resisted the urge to dial his number just to hear his voice. _She_ was the one he called when he needed someone, not the other way around.

There was no place in his heart for _her_.

And as she let her eyes fall shut, she cradled the fractured pieces of her soul, a decision already made.

Donna needed to move on. And there was only one way she could do that.

**Author's Note:**

> Here's a short little thing after last night's episode. Hope it doesn't suck lmao. Thanks for reading.


End file.
